A short story by Evan Kilos

Space the final frontier the ongoing mission to seek strange new worlds seek out new life new civilizations to boldly go where no one has gone before. Referring to ourselves as starships.
Bound broken on the bathroom floor coming down from 14 days of meth. All this pain all
the sex all these guys. It’s been for years that I have been going hard on this run not
understanding how I am created how I feel how I need to feel. I experienced my 20th abscess today, it’s off to patient first to have it lanced. Maybe this time the last time the hurt will be flushed out once lanced open. Less the paranoia less the love less the loss. How do you numb your skin after the warmest touch how do free your soul after you found a friend? How do you teach you heart it’s a crime to fall in love again?
My name is Tina, Crystal Meth. We have been friends for years Tripping the light
fantastic. We never realized unless we ask for help that we are beings of air water dust just space matter. That I am your long-term friend but my job is to kill you.
Space is dark a void a vacuum of infinity. Setting a course second star to the right and
straight on till morning. It took 28 days to realize this. 28 days of a strange house strange new people strange, strange me. Not understanding me you us. Where I am supposed to go how do I recover from here. How do I fully get the picture that I am as bright as the stars? That I am wonderous as a new planet. To fully immerse in a new way of thinking.
Plowing up old feelings but using the past and sex an excuse to keep using which is so
hard, Mary J. Blige said, have a breakthrough. The swirling emotions of the past now
understanding I can’t do anything about yesterday or tomorrow I can only do for today. One moment at a time. This is hard for the addict; walls must be broken down all the hurt to overcome.
This can and does kill.
A planetary understanding of how we as humans work. It so hard much like speaking but
muffled. Choppy incomplete thoughts. Meth dose that. Trying to link great thoughts together is like sewing with an elephant’s foot so hard and incomplete. Trying to achieve greatness.
It does not matter how we become friends all that matters is that I will take you places you
have never been before. I will take you to the darkest recesses of you mind I will have you do and feel things you have never imagined. I will make you compromise your own morals. Remember I don’t work a 9 to 5 my 9 to 5 is you. I will tire you out make you feel haggard look worse but feel
Fabulous. I will help you achieve you weight loss and sexual prowess. I will meet your family and bust them apart. I will take everything from you because I need it don’t you love me?
I am mighty I am beautiful I am Tina.
You will give me everything your health, your money, your friends, your life if need be.
Don’t fight it you love me, and we feel great together.
There is a kid inside of all of us that cries out stop hurting me TINA STOP HURTING ME.
You were my friend TINA my friends don’t hurt me. Why are you hurting me? Tina replies it’s all I know how to do.